Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band

Jukebox

Televangelist Pat Robertson this week announced that local band Honky Tonkitis is the reason for bad music globally. "I have spoken to God and God has told me that Honky Tonkitis sucks."

Robertson,  a media mogul, television evangelist, ex-Baptist minister and businessman politically aligned with the Christian Right in the United States made a formal statement about the band:

"The world has befallen the musical tragedies of today because of Honky Tonkitis. The tsunami that is Justin Bieber, the magnitude 7.0 earthquake of Lady Gaga, even the tragic house fire that is Eminem: God has heard the music of Honky Tonkitis, God is angered by the music of Honky Tonkitis, and God continues to allow the tragedy of today's music because of Honky Tonkitis. God is leading us through a musical desert, withholding the musical manna of Beatles and Abbas and Whos. And God will not be placated until this honky tonk AntiChrist is removed from creation." 

After reading the announcement, Honky Tonkitis drummer Kurt Weber said, "I dunno, I think our new album is pretty good. Yeah, God could be getting back at the world for our first record, but in our defense, we were a brand-new band."

Robertson, explaining that Honky Tonkitis has caused God to even ruin the music of Metallica.

Be the first to respond!

Leave a comment:

  •