Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band

Jukebox

The Catholic Church's Pope Francis, infamous for making statements that have shaken up the church and laety, has once again sent shockwaves through the culture with his most recent statement:

"Embrace honky tonk."

Aftershocks are still being felt by the statement, which has overwhelmed some of the most outcast, bitter people in the entire world, including local honky tonk band, Honky Tonkitis.

"Already today I've been hugged by three complete strangers," drummer Kurt Weber said, "and they were all ugly people, so I'm not sure I approve of what the Pope said. I was hoping for better."

"Personally, I'm outraged by this statement," guitarist Bruce Dean added. "The next thing you know, the Pope's going to want us to embrace the poor."

"While it seems like something that should be pretty easy to do, I was kinda hoping he had said "buy" instead of "embrace." I could've really used the beer money," fiddle player Larry Gaaard added.

"I don't know why he decided to pick on honky tonk," singer Johnny Maplewood concluded. "Why not pick on Outlaw Country instead? I mean, have you seen Hank Williams, Jr. lately? Good God, that guy deserves this cruelty over us."

Not all honky tonk individuals are taking the same tack.

"I'm locked and loaded and ready for the embracing," accordionist Don Turner responded, "Hot chicks, the Don line starts here."

Pope Francis Honky Tonk Kiss

Pope Francis giving a surprise embrace to some poor honky tonk bastard.

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