The Milwaukee District Attorney's office dropped multiple murder charges against local fiddle player, Larry Gääärd, after it was determined that the search warrant was incorrectly served. Gääärd plays with local group, Honky Tonkitis.
"This is a miscarriage of justice," Police Department chief Ed Flynn declared Wednesday. "This psychotic deviant was able to slip out of these charges through some legal mumbo-jumbo. By all rights, he should be sitting in a jail cell awaiting a trial that would have put him away for ten lifetimes."
Milwaukee Police were serving a search warrant on Gääärd in regard to the unsolved cases of ten murder victims, all strangled through the use of a violin string. According to unnamed Police sources, the evidence found in Gääärd's house was damning.
Police Chief Flynn was hesitant to give further details on the case. "As of now, I've been asked by the DA's office to limit my comments on any suspects. But I can tell you that our prime suspect's name rhymes with 'Jerry Lääärd.'"
Gääärd had very little to say with regard to the ongoing case. "I have a show this Friday night. Can I have my bloody strings back?"
May not be a picture of killer Larry Gääärd.