Honky Tonkitis

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Court papers have been filed by Johnny Maplewood, lead singer of local band Honky Tonkitis, against his own band.

According to court documents, Maplewood is suing his own band after they refused to allow him to let half of their upcoming album be comprised of ballads.

"What can I say?" Maplewood replied when contacted about the lawsuit, "I'm at a much more sensitive and contemplative period in my life. I have a desire to write and sing songs that are more mellow and which cover issues other than drinking, divorce, and drinking. I've moved on to subjects such as patching up relationships, longing for someone, or enjoying a kitten curled up on your lap."

"The guy's gone frickin' out of his mind," accordion player Don Turner replied when contacted. "We told him maybe three of the songs could be ballads, but that's it. And now he takes us to court? What a flake! He even wants to change the album title!"

Maplewood has demanded changing the new album's title, More Songs About Drinking Beer, Vol. III to Getting in Touch with My Feelings.

"I just feel like we've entered a new chapter in the book of Honky Tonkitis. It's something I think our fans will welcome with open arms. They've still got all the old songs to listen to and now they can focus on a new range of emotions. they can grow along with the band. It's a good thing," Maplewood concluded.

"The guy's gone all mellow on us," Turner responded, "and he thinks we're going down without a fight? Well let me tell ya, Barry Manilow, lawyer up, because we're coming into court ready to slap you silly. Legally speaking."

No word on the release date for the new album, whatever the title.

Maplewood: in touch with his feelings?

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