Honky Tonkitis

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Local band Honky Tonkitis announced this week the impending release of a new Christmas album by the group.

"We're really excited about this one. It's not crappy like those last three albums we put out," stated singer Johnny Maplewood.

The album, tentatively titled, Let's Have A Children's Honky Tonk Christmas, will be available in December.

"It's got tons of great tracks on it with a lot of famous guest stars contributing to help make it look good and force their friends into buying it," guitarist Bruce Dean explained.

Don Turner elaborated: "It's a special, special record for all those special kids in your life. And yet, the adults can enjoy it, too. There's a little bit of something for everyone. Except for the jerks that don't like us."

"I honestly don't even remember recording any of it," fiddle player Larry Gääärd concluded. "Is it any good?"

Song Titles include:

Hangover Hanukkah

Shut Up with the Christmas Songs, I'm Drinking

Stand Your Ground Against Intruder Santa Claus

Twelve Steps to the Twelve Drinks of Christmas

Rudolph Arm Wrestles Baby Jesus for the Kingdom

These Red Sores 'round My Mouth Mean That It's Christmas

Ev'ry Time that Santa's Near, Daddy Drinks a Beer

Eleven Drinkers Drinking

My Baby Left the Bar with Santa Claus

Oh Holy Night (quartet including Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, and Shane McGowan)

Christmas Pasties

Put More Vodka in my Eggnog

Christmas Beer

You Look A Lot Like Santa, Baby

Rumplemintz Reminds Me of Christmas

 

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