On Tuesday, a new Gallup poll found Congress began 2014 with a 14% approval rating, now polling below local group Honky Tonkitis with the American people.
"Yes! In your face, Congress!" singer Johnny Maplewood exclaimed, while high-fiving fellow band member Don Turner at a local tavern.
"Now you know how it feels, suckas," Turner replied, "Maybe next time you won't be so quick to legislate us like we're a bunch of losers."
Honky Tonkitis plans to use the polling numbers to promote their quickly-crafted topical single, "I Gave Up Congress for Honky Tonkitis," which will be rush-released to stores and the internet on Tuesday.
Drummer Kurt Weber concluded: "It's time for Congress to recognize our top 14% status and pass the following legislation we have been pushing: Make Beans and Beer for Breakfast the national anthem, adding Buck Owens' image to the $500 bill, and assigning Kate Upton as the National Secretary of Hawtness."
If Honky Tonkitis is wrong about Upton's government skills, they don't wanna be right.