Honky Tonkitis

Here's where you talk to the band

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International television celebrity Charlie Sheen announced Sunday on TV news show Sixty Minutes that he had hired local band Honky Tonkitis to play his children's birthday party.

When asked why Sheen had hired a honky tonk band that performs songs about drinking and divorce to entertain a children's party, Sheen said, "As kids we're not taught how to deal with success; we're taught how to deal with failure."

When asked if he would get up and perform with the band, Sheen replied that he had tried it in the past: "I was with one at a time with the other four watching. It was a little uncomfortable, actually. I wouldn't recommend five at once. There's just not enough guy to go around."
 
Sheen did comment that having a honky tonk band perform at a children's party is not something he recommends for everyone:"If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

Sheen further described what he saw in the band: "They're the best at what they do and I'm the best at what I do. And together it's like, it's on. Sorry, Middle America. Yeah, I said it." 

When asked if the band was comfortable performing for a childrens birthday party, lead singer Johnny Maplewood said, "Well, at first, we were a little hesitant because Mr. Sheen wanted to pay us in tiger blood. We couldn't do that. But hey, the check cleared. Why not?"

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