In shocking news today, local accordion player Don Turner of the group Honky Tonkitis was arrested on federal racketeering charges. FBI agents led a pre-dawn raid of Turner's small apartment, arresting Turner, four unnamed scantily-clad females and at least five exotic birds.
"Giuseppe Turner has been on our radar for many months now," FBI agent Guy Fiorentini announced, "We've just been waiting for the perfect time to move forward with his arrest." According to Agent Fiorentini, Turner has long been an active leader in the underworld extortion of accordion players for money, sex and illegal drugs. Said Fiorentini, "This is one Mafia Don whose days of extorting innocent accordion players is over."
Johnny Maplewood, lead singer of Honky Tonkitis, reacted with shock and horror. "His real name's Giuseppe? But I thought it was Don! I didn't know he was Don Giuseppe! Good God! All those mafia jokes I told the band! No wonder Don never laughed." Maplewood said he had immediate plans to go into hiding.
Turner's only comments during the arrest were, "Maplewood's dead to me! Dead!"
"Don" Giuseppe Turner may no longer be smiling when he thinks about his accordion business.